Friday, May 18, 2018

Hospice



                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           I  have signed on to hospice , I know we all die , cross over , pass away , I am not afraid at this point . I still make my art and love my family , I have talked to my drs about any fears I have , and pain is a fear , and struggling to breath is a fear , my hospice people have meds for pain and machines to help me breath if my oxygen is not enough . sure I get anxious of the unknown , I am spiritual , I believe in zen more than any other, oneness with the universe .     I dont see death as bad . just a continuance in a different form . I will enjoy every minute I can here , I was diagnosed with a terminal lung condition over 12 years ago (alpha 1 a d ) I have been on oxygen since and get weekly infusians , I cried for 3 months and drooled on my pillow from anti anxiety meds , and desided if I was gonna die I wanted to live the best I can , my dr found (the infusions ) and I jumped into doing my old love arts and crafts , the infusians has given me many years with my son, daughter  and husband . then last year the cancer put a damper on my already strained ammune system . the treatment was just to stop the worst of it at the time .. so I see these past 10 years have been a gift ( my origional diagnosis was for just a couple of years survival , until treatment was found , and my insurance company fought it but so did my doctor and finally they paid for it ) I am weak but I can still enjoy some  things  .  I  love  my  children   forever  .   thanks mr griff  for  your addition to my life .



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