Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Rachel and Mike McPadden ( Rachel Doughty )
My daughter was great when I was first diagnosed she lived nearby and helped and kept me company a lot then she moved to Chicago - for job and love and I heard from her less and less - she got married I am so very happy for her -- they married in Brooklyn his home town and they live in Chicago I was kind of invited to the wedding but it was on Christmas eve and with my illness traveling was/is hard . she worked and with a husband it is understandable she was busy and I would not get to talk often - then she blocked me on face book ... I visited there 2 times in 5 years if they do come to town they never stay here because he is allergic to dogs and cats so I only have seen them a hand full of times in 5 years - she refused to get tested for alpha she said she didnt want to know , if she has since then she has never said . and aparently they struggle with infertility. the few brief phone calls . turned into brief emails into brief texts . I send photos of us and my artwork and cconversations and news , ideas , like I am talking face to face keeping things up beat and interesting . to get a " sounds great" - or a "looks good" response . I pack up boxes of her favorite vintage idems I keep a look out for and send for birthdays and holidays I even had a Tshirt made for her husband - with a quick thanks for the gift in a text - she got mad when I got upset and missed her so much when she first moved to Chicago and told her far too often ( I guess ) or so she said , so I dont go there , she never asks about my health , or even calls . I know dealing with someone disabled is hard and I guess it is easier to just eliminate them from your life - but man it hurts when your the one ousted out of a loved ones life . I tried to contact her on her Twitter and she blocked me there too after I saw she posts about her grand parents ( her late dad parents) and zero about me . it was like I didnt exist I got an E card at mothers day not a phone call I text and send emails and call to no answer
- I try not to cry but it hurts , we were so close I miss her .