Saturday, March 17, 2018
my cervical cancer is gone , but it spread to my lung and liver . since I am so weak it is not treatable with chemo or surgery , I had a pet scan in dec that found it and a cat scan this past week that showed some growth , I have consulted with my lung doc and a doc at the hospital when I was in in January with a bacterial infection and the radiolgist and now my oncologist , we discused the results and what my options are there is treatment but the treatment will make be very sick and could kill me fast , verses quality life options of pallitive care and hospice . I chose the last one , in illinois I have a chance for medical cannibus treatment that may delay the growth of the tumer in my lung and liver . I have started paperwork to will mu body to medical science at a local St Louis medical school there are 3 locally they always need donations of remains . I have wanted this since high school if I cannot donate organs to the needy and since I have cancer I cannot . I am ok with everything at this time , it is important for me to be in charge of what i want . I have no experation date . it could be short time or a long time ... I just want to live and love and create art in whatever time I have .
Thursday, February 8, 2018
my daughters father became a alcholic when she was 3 or 4 , ( he got a job at the local Stag brewery and they promoted drinking at work for free ), this was 42 years ago , after a while nothing was more important than his addiction to alcohol , I struggled to keep us all together and became the bread winner while he became less reliable finally I had to protect my daughter and myself from the mood swings of his addiction and divorced ... - he blamed everyone but himself for his drinking . every member of his family including me and her ... his family blamed me . his attitude left an impression on her through out her life . I wish her a good life and much happiness - her Birthday is today and I hope her day is wonderful. .....................................Happy Birthday Rachel McPadden .