Thursday, May 24, 2018
Monday, May 21, 2018
once I formed a look my look was Lois Lane looking suits with the skirt cut and hemmed to a mini skirt - I loved it with a white shirt and tie , or a blazer with a shirt and tie with jeans it was my look because I couldnt afford the mod look suits I loved , and my mom dated a guy dry cleaners and he let her have all the clothes that was stored in the back for years that no one came back dor it filled our basement with racks of clothes and I got to go pick things that fit me that I could alter , the first style per say I had in my life , I wore only hand me downs and school uniforms all my life with the exception of 3 dresses bought for school at for second grade . and a dress for highschool and jeans of course , I got cheap shoes because that is what I could afford so I worked baby sitting to get a good pair of shoes a mod pair of wingtips they were great , suits with vests I loved and looked good in , I even had friends like the look so much they scoured the salvation army and good will for womens suits too . and mens dress shirts and ties , in summer it was Tshirts and jeans shorts and buffalo sandals , we made purses out of old mens lunch boxes and decoupaged mod pictures on them , or pouches made from the bottoms of the long skirts we cut making mini skirts . our jeand soon got a triangle of bright fabric on the sides to become bell bottoms , I would embroidery flowers on jeans too
Friday, May 18, 2018
and pain is a fear , and struggling to breath is a fear , my hospice people have meds for pain and machines to help me breath if my oxygen is not enough . sure I get anxious of the unknown , I am spiritual , I believe in zen more than any other, oneness with the universe . I dont see death as bad . just a continuance in a different form . I will enjoy every minute I can here , I was diagnosed with a terminal lung condition over 12 years ago (alpha 1 a d ) I have been on oxygen since and get weekly infusians , I cried for 3 months and drooled on my pillow from anti anxiety meds , and desided if I was gonna die I wanted to live the best I can , my dr found (the infusions ) and I jumped into doing my old love arts and crafts , the infusians has given me many years with my son, daughter and husband . then last year the cancer put a damper on my already strained ammune system . the treatment was just to stop the worst of it at the time .. so I see these past 10 years have been a gift ( my origional diagnosis was for just a couple of years survival , until treatment was found , and my insurance company fought it but so did my doctor and finally they paid for it ) I am weak but I can still enjoy some things . I love my children forever . thanks mr griff for your addition to my life .
Sunday, April 29, 2018
I have an inherited condition called alpha 1 antitrypsin defency and stage 4 COPD from it , I went through chemo and radiation for stage 4 cervical cancer last summer , my cervex is clear mut the cancer moved to my lung and liver , with my luns being so weak I would not survive chemo again , I have been on oxygen for 12 years , and am living out my days doing my artwork and loving my family and life as much as I can . I want them to remember the fun times not the bad , I have been very lucky to look basicly well except for the oxygen tubes . I know the grief is strong at first but after a while you can smile and enjoy the good memories ..